


we hate batman club begins

by sarah_x



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Green Lantern (Comics), Hellblazer
Genre: Gen, I'm so sorry, we hate batman club
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 13:26:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10466070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarah_x/pseuds/sarah_x
Summary: hal jordan, john constantine and edward nygma come together by some twist of fate... actually, eddie stole some shit from them and ends up in a semi-kinky interrogation/bdsm session so hal and john can get it back.





	

**Author's Note:**

> based off the 'we hate batman club' posts on @batmanrogues tumblr with help from yours truly

The room was like something out of a bad gangster movie. It was obviously some kind of storage room, so Edward Nigma deduced, judging by the shelves pushed up against the walls of the dimly lit room. A single light bulb flickered directly above him. As it was, he was tied to a chair, bound in rope at the hands and the feet. Perhaps the most humiliating part was the red ball gag in his mouth. He was having trouble not drooling all over himself because of it.

His captors were not ones for subtly. He took a breath and inhaled the stench Marlboro cigarettes. _Ah, Constantine._

A door behind him broke open with a heavy, metallic sound. “So, you found him?” Another familiar voice. _Lantern._

“Well you could say that…” The Englishman came into view, trench coat bloodied and cigarette hanging out of his mouth. John sounded bored.

Lantern followed, glowing green suit a harsh, sharp contrast against the dimness of the room. It made Edward squint. Lantern’s mouth fell open slightly and he turned to John with a baffled look on his face, “You could have just used a gagging spell.”

“True,” John admitted. “But this is far more entertaining, wouldn’t you admit, mate?”

Lantern walked over to him and unfastened the ball gag. Edward leaned to the side and spat on the floor. If it belonged to Constantine, it had likely seen a myriad of other mouths. “Doesn’t anyone just say _come with me_ anymore?” Edward mused to himself. “Gentlemen, if you wanted to see me all tied up, you could have just said _pretty please_.”

“We might have been able to do that… you know, before you sold us out to Belial back in Coast City,” Lantern said. “Pretty please is going to be off the table for a long while, pal.”

John came to crouch in front of him, taking a drag of his cigarette and blowing the smoke into Edward’s face, in an apparent attempt to be intimidating. It was laughable. Despite this, Edward choked on the smoke and coughed a little. John smirked, “Coast City was a low blow, Eddie. You’re lucky GL is the forgiving type.”

“Oh _please_ ,” Edward rolled his eyes at their theatrics. “You can’t say you didn’t know what you were getting yourself into when we three banded together. You two morons may have fallen for doting little Eddie but there’s no way you didn’t see this coming. After all, I am the Riddler and I –”

Before Edward could finish his sentence, John was yanking the gag back into his mouth. “You know, you don’t look half bad like this,” John said. “When you’re not _speaking_.”

Unable to express his outrage, Edward simply growled at him from behind the gag. John walked back over to Lantern who was leaning against the far wall. “You wanted him here,” John pointed out. “You’re up, good cop. I’m liable to deck him if I keep going. Unless you want me to use some magic to motivate our mate here.”

“What, you’re gunna pull a cruciatus curse out of your bag of tricks?” Lantern frowned as he pushed off of the wall. “I don’t think so.”

“Don’t get arsey with me, it was only a suggestion.”

Lantern took the gag out again, then moved a few feet away from Edward with his arms crossed. “You look stressed, Lantern,” Edward noted, and noted too the way the Lantern’s jaw set at the comment. A salacious smile found its way to Edward’s face, “Anything I can do to help?”

Lantern placed one hand on the back of the chair and the other on one of the arm rests, leaning into Edward’s personal space. “You can tell me where the Pandora’s box is.”

Edward pretended to think. “Oh, let me see, how many days has it been?” He glanced down at one of his tied-up hands and started counting on his fingers. “Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday… let’s see… by now, I predict it must have been bought off the black market and is currently on a plane on its way to a very wealthy Sultan. You should meet him, a wonderful fellow, he’s very into this kind of thing.” Edward gestured to his bound form.

Lantern’s grip on the arm rest tightened. It seemed to be taking everything the man had not to hit Edward. It only made Edward smile wider. “You know, I always liked you better, Lantern. You’re so _easy_. Riddle me this: you will always find me in the past. I can be created in the present but the future can never taint me. What am I?”

Edward expected a punch. Instead, Lantern pushed the chair backwards and Edward hit the floor with a laugh. “History!” He shouted, almost giddy. “The answer is history! The three of us have history! You need me, Lantern! Both of you do, if you ever want to see that box again.”

“Mate, if you don’t shut up, you’re the one about to be history!” John yelled back. He trotted over to Lantern. “So, what’s our next move?”

“There’s no way to track that box without help,” Lantern replied, glancing between Edward’s fallen, giggling form and John’s nonchalant one. They both seemed completely calm at the possibility the world’s greatest horrors falling into the wrong hands. Lantern took a deep breath and muttered, “Barry, give me _strength_.”

Lantern composed himself, “Okay. Okay, we’re going after it,” Lantern said. “And we’re taking _him_ with us.”

Edward yelped in delight, “Wonderful!”

John raised a brow, “You sure about that?”

“Yeah,” Lantern replied. “But he’s getting a gagging spell. He can only speak to answer questions about the box, or to ask to go to the bathroom.”

Edward stopped laughing, “ _Killjoys_.”

 


End file.
